understand what i've become...

my head has been kicking around a soccer ball. back and forth. forth and back. everyone's eyes follow it. trying to see who'll win the match. i call in a replacement. take out a normal teammate. pull out the seasoned pro from another team. it all clicks. goal! finally. the game is won. there will be more games. we've won the battle. but we're still in the war. but we'll fight this war smart. we won't walk through the woods wearing bright orange. stomping through on the trails. cover us in mud and watch us walk on tree branches. we'll swing down on our enemies and before they know what hit them, we're back in the trees. they'll never figure us out. we're all just actors. playing the roles we've been given. who are you really? sometimes i have no idea how to answer that question. what do you like to do. what can i honestly say to answer that question? i'm a double agent. i'll give you the answer i want you to hear. i'm holding the real one inside. because, maybe i'm not good enough. but i'm ready to give it a shot. and i know it'll end well. because everything i said, i meant it. i've been lead to the answer that's been hiding in the dark corners of my mind. hand me a flashlight. better yet, flip on the overhead lights. i want to see every crack in my mind. i am sick of hiding things from myself. i know what i want. and i know how to get it. i'd be mad to stop now. i have everything i need. i've been saying it for years. but i finally mean it now. it's time to jump in.