Wednesday, May 16, 2007
woke up this morning and found something missing. looked for my keys. my shoes. my breakfast. nothing's missing. but something is. i can't breath. evertime i try to stop and think, i'm suffocating. there's so much on my mind. and i can't get it out. i'm terrified. rooted to the ground and i can't move an inch. i've held onto this my whole life. and without it, i have nothing. what can i do? i've got a handful of unhappiness. this wasn't how it was supposed to be. i had a plan. i'm in the car. and i've got tears in my eyes because i can't bear another day. i just want to go back and change it all. why can't i just be different? and everyone expects me to be something i'm not. i'm not who you think i am. i cry in my room at night because i can't get out. because i know i'll never be happy. never be something. never...be. i wish i could write more. wish i could purge it all. but there's too much to be said. and not enough words to say it. i need to find a way back. i'll see you when i fix it.