Pick Me Up...If Work Permits...

lost my first love once. feeling that lost again. remember the days when the ceiling was falling in on us. peeled paint and torn fliers. living just to live. 2 am with the windows down. letting the summer sink in. knowing all the right words. laughing when i forget them. completely drunk down to every cell in my body. be part of something bigger than what we are. letting the smoke sink into my skin. living for cigarettes and road trips. ticket stubs and x-marked hands. not knowing anything. just knowing it will all work out.

three days out and my head is starting to clear. feel it all coming back out. locked it away, glued it shut. don't be afraid little child. it only hurts a bit. life is pain. here it comes. brace for impact.

Broken Compass...

stir crazy. keep moving, but not getting anywhere. let me slip away. ready to arrive. take a plane into the unknown. time to jump in. i'm ready, i am.

and nothing else matters...

(picture taken on sidekick)

so sick of not getting the time of day. it's 9:01pm...thanks. helps a lot. getting slaughtered like a lamb in this business. nothing makes sense and nothing else matters. it's all i want and it's exactly what i'll never get. death before failure...right? at this rate, might as well die. failing a little more everyday. want to stop the meds. sick of it all. sick of being normal. sick of being plain. done with this crappy exhistance. gotta break free. prisoner of war. can't break out. and nothing else matters. can't breath to seek. can't find the way. darkness is the absense of light. the darkness is a cloak that's suffocating. the world is breaking. shatter the windows. couldn't feel the wind anyways. fuck it all. done with the waiting. hurry up and wait. that's life. wait wait wait. cough out the truth. nothing else matters. lost faith. can't turn around. can't keep going on like thi. just need a reason to be. want to be on the road. want to make something beautiful. make me beautiful. make this world the truth. make it all alive. the music flows and can't make it stop. but there it is. they keep turning it down. this one goes to 11. why don't you just make 10 louder? but this one goes to 11. wish it all went to 11. never let go of the line. keep holding on till the line breaks. it's getting thin and starting to tear. lost the way . lost the light. never cared for all the fake. just wanted something real. people are assholes. fucking true. i'm dying for this. and nothing else matters.