Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Settle down...

It's been way too long since I've updated, but a lot has been going on these past few months. Blogging just hasn't been on my mind.

Where to start...Where to start....

The last time I posted, I was working in a restaurant. I ended up quitting and going back to my old job as a temp. It came down to knowing I was giving up every weekend for the entire summer, dealing with drunks, homeless people, and the cops every night I worked, and only getting paid nine dollars an hour for my trouble. Getting a paycheck every two weeks, and not being able to afford my car payment with an entire paycheck was the final straw. I swallowed my pride, went to my old job and signed up to be a temp. I've been back for a few months, and it's back to normal. I get paid weekly. I can afford my bills. I work (mostly) 40 hour weeks. I'm home before 4:30 every day.

I've started taking a hip hop dance class again. I'm still terrible at it, but I love it.

I passed all my classes last semester! I don't remember if I posted that on here or not. I'm enrolled in only one class this semester. English 101. I started the semester this week. It's strange to have only one class each week, instead of being in class everyday. However, I feel that if I really want to pass my English class, I need to focus on it instead of juggling several classes. I had my first class last night, and I think I'm going to hate it. My teacher is a scatter-brain. This wouldn't be an issue if it was a creative writing class where you are encouraged to free-think and let your mind travel where it wants to go. But this is a composition class. Essay writing is difficult. Everything must be precise. So, having a teacher who can't focus is going to be difficult. Oh well, only 15 weeks left.

Now that I've got the easy stuff out of the way, I guess it's time for the "real" stuff.

Right after I started back at my old job, I got the news that my dad has cancer. The dreaded "c-word." No one likes hearing that word. It's a frightening subject. My dad was in surgery just days after he found out he had cancer. The doctors removed about half of his bladder. He was in and out of the hospital several times after. He got an infection. After they put him on meds to kill the infection and sent him home, he had a severe allergic reaction to the medication and was back in the hospital. It seems like he can go about a week fine, but then something happens and he's sick again. The surgery removed the cancer and he was told to come back in six weeks for a follow-up to make sure the cancer stayed gone. He had his check-up last week, and it seems that the cancer has come back. It's not as much as before, but it's growing fast. We are waiting on test results to know where to go from here. I hate waiting. I hate not knowing what the future holds. It's difficult for me to take this one day at a time. I spend most days blocking it out. It's what I do best.

This is my self-defense mechanism. Whenever things are too difficult for me to handle, I just block it out. Go to a place in my head where life is normal and easy. A place where I can be happy and stress-free.

While all of this was going on, my nephew's father died unexpectedly. I won't go into details, but it was a shock for my sister. As if dealing with our father's cancer wasn't enough, now she has to figure out how to tell her son that he will never know HIS father. He's less than a year old now, but someday, he's going to want to know what happened to his dad. Needless to say, it's been a stressful few months for my family.

The one bright side to this summer had to be the zombie run. I DID IT! I can't believe I actually did it. Especially since we really didn't train for it much. The run wasn't bad, more like a strenuous hike through the woods, tripping over logs and sticks. The zombies were awesome! Nothing like coming to a clearing in the woods and seeing an open field full of zombies! The obstacles were the killer for me. Climbing walls, running through mud (or face-planting if you're me), crawling under electrified fences. Add in running from zombies and you've got a good time! I'm so glad my team and I had matching shirts. The second everyone starts running through the field of zombies, it's total chaos. It helped so much to be able to look around and see the royal blue shirts of my teammates and know they were still with me. I will no doubt be doing the run again next year. Maybe this year, I'll actually train a little bit more!

I guess that's the update for now. I'd like to say I'll update at least once a week from now on, but I doubt that I actually will. I will try to make it more of a regular thing, instead of once every several months.

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