Well, I'll admit, it's been a while since I posted on here. I had planned to post about my favorite Korean Hip Hop groups, but life happened and I didn't get around to it. I still might do that post in the future. But not yet.
So, it's been a busy few months. I am pleased to say I finished the Spring semester with ALL A's!!! I don't think I've EVER had straight A's in the past. But I'll take it! For my aptx class, my final project was to create a "brand." I had to come up with a logo, letterhead, tagline, company name, etc. It took so much thought and effort, but I did really well and my teacher was pretty impressed. It was probably one of the most useful projects I've done in my entire college career.
I am currently enrolled in an accounting class over the summer. My teacher is awesome and really funny and she breaks everything down to make it easier to understand. I also have a friend from my spring classes in my accounting class, which makes it so much easier. The second I saw him walk in on the first day of class, I was instantly relieved to know somebody. It makes class so much better when you have a friend.
Aside from school, I adopted a pair of kittens from the local animal shelter. When I adopted them, they were both under 2lbs, but full of spunk. They have grown a lot since then, but they are still little balls of chaos. They have chewed THROUGH a tank top strap, thrown water all over the kitchen, climbed the curtains and attacked me in my sleep. They also try to jump into the toilet on a daily basis. But God dammit, they are so fucking cute! Dora (short for Pandora) sleeps under the covers at my feet and starts purring and meowing at me to get up when my alarm goes off in the morning. Navajo can jump really high and she is a master spider killer. They spend half their time sleeping and the other half of the time chasing each other and knocking over their food bowl. They are currently curled up on the couch cleaning each other.
Speaking of new additions to the family, my oldest sister and her husband have officially become foster parents to a teenage girl who happens to be awesome and hilarious. She fits in perfectly with our family and I know my sister couldn't be happier to FINALLY have a daughter to do "girly" things with. (She has a son and a husband who love all things "outdoorsy." So she's been outnumbered for years.) This brings my total niece/nephew count to 7.
There has been so much good in the last few months, but also a little bad. I was sexually harassed by a guy in a car on my way to class one evening. It was a sad reminder that because of my gender, I will spend my life looking over my shoulder and being harassed/mocked/degraded/silenced and there isn't much I can do about it.
I have also recently realized that the only man I have ever truly loved unconditionally and wanted to be with was emotionally abusive/manipulative to me. Even just admitting that is difficult. Things between us were never clear cut and the end of the relationship/"let's be friends" period was filled with arguments and crying and anxiety attacks and it nearly killed me. I spent my time crying and stressing about the arguments. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat because of all the stress and drama. It was bad enough that I dropped a large amount of weight in just a few months. Still, I never looked at the situation for what it was. It's still hard for me to "blame" him for all the unhappiness I went through. There is a part of me that wants to jump up and say, "Sometimes, I provoked him, knowing full well that it would end in a fight!" But in reality, none of it was my fault. It never occurred to me that the way he treated me was not a "normal" part of being in a relationship. Not until a few weeks ago. I was reading an advice column that someone else had posted a link to on one of my fav sites. The person looking for advice explained a family situation that involved abuse. The person giving the advice broke it down to explain to this person that this wasn't their fault. I remember reading things like, "walking on eggshells so you don't set them off," and "apologizing even when you know you did nothing wrong" and having that realization that I've been there. He never physically or sexually abused me in any way. And he wasn't overtly mean to me, per se. But the way he said things to me and the way he always pointed out how beautiful/perfect/sexy other women were and how much smarter he was than me, and how he would yell at me for no reason than because he was pissed about something totally unrelated, etc was not ok. Even now that I have a better understanding of the situation, I don't hate him. I don't wish bad things on him. I am actually thankful for that entire time. Because it made me a stronger person. It taught me how to stand up for myself. It gave me the motivation I needed to get myself back on track and focused on my goals instead of focusing on another person. And most of all, it gave me an understanding of what I want and don't want in myself and in a man. It gave me a better ability to spot that type of behavior and an understanding of why I don't want to be with someone like that ever again.
I thought with all that on my plate the last few months, nothing else could happen. I was wrong. I was on my way to work a few weeks ago, when I got caught on a flooded road. My car was eventually pushed completely off the road by the rising floods at which point, the water started leaking INTO my car. I had to bail out through the sunroof and sit clinging to a tree as I called 911 for help. By that time, the water outside the car was above the headlights and washing up onto the hood of the car. From the time my car initially got stuck, to the time I was safely calling my dad from a police car was roughly an hour to an hour and a half. By the time my car was towed that evening, there was mud on top of the seats from the creek waters seeping into the car. I can not say how lucky I am to have made it out of that car and out of that flood safely. People die in situations like that. And if anything had happened differently, I probably would have died as well. It was easily the scariest thing I've ever been through and I am actually quite surprised I handled the entire situation as well as I did. I will admit, I had a 30 second panic attack where I just screamed and freaked out as my car was floating off the road. Had it not been for a semi driver who stopped to help me, I don't know how long it would have taken me to pull myself back together. I can not thank him enough for not only stopping to see if I was okay, but also for telling me what I needed to do after I climbed out of the car and also for risking his life to try to get to me. He was almost washed away in the flood and was unable to get to me. But just having another person there gave me the strength to calm down and pull myself together.
All in all, it's been a crazy few months. There have been so many great things and a few bad things. But I am constantly reminded of how lucky I truly am to have made it through everything.
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