Sunday, January 08, 2012

New paths chosen...

I've decided I really need to get the ball rolling on this blog again. It's been too long since my last post. Tons has happened since then. Some good. Lots of bad. But that's a past to be revisited on another day.
I thought that I might start this "new beginning" by talking about how I came to the decision to be a full time student.
This story began several months ago at work. I was working in a warehouse. Had been for a few years. One of my co-workers asked me if I had graduated high school. I told her I graduated high school nearly 10 years ago. Her next statement totally caught me off guard.
"Then why are you working here?"
I stood there, stunned for a few seconds, not knowing how to answer. I'd never really thought about it. I needed a job, and they were hiring. I'd gone from entry-level job to entry-level job for years since high school. I couldn't apply for other jobs because they required a college degree.
I'd always wanted to go to college but had a million excuses as to why I couldn't. But standing there in that moment, it all hit me. Here was a woman around my age who was originally from Mexico. Her English isn't bad, but sometimes she gets confused for words. She didn't have a college education, but she did have a kid or two at home. Her options were limited. What was my excuse? My real excuse? Forget the money, forget not knowing what I really wanted to do as a career. Why had I put off school for so long? Maybe, just maybe, there was fear.
People who know me best, know I'm terrified to fail. Sometimes, I choose not to even try, because if you never try, you can never fail. But this moment, looking at a woman who had more than fear holding her back, I realized my time to fear was up. I signed up for classes a few weeks later.
So, now, here I am. I have less than a week left at that same warehouse job. I am enrolled in 5 classes this semester totaling 15 credit hours. My first tuition payment has been processed, my books are ordered and in the mail. There are things I'm working towards throughout this coming year. Lots of great things I must strive for. Some, I'm absolutly terrified for. I'm terrified to try, perhaps even more terrified to succeed. But I'm starting to realize that I MUST try. I'm excited for the future. I can't wait to see what the lies ahead of me.
In the spirit of my new found courage and sense of adventure, t's time for me to end this post, and begin this year with a few wise words that are not my own.
"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to." -Bilbo Baggins The Lord of the Rings- Fellowship of the Ring

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